' In the darkness of the night,
when the air feels harsh and the world empty.
Your heart cold and the room silent,
Seek warmth with the remembrance of Allah’
- A piece on Loneliness
I call loneliness the emotion of remembrance, it’s the emotion that creeps up on us in our most quiet hours, in rooms filled with laughter and company.
It’s the emotion that begs us to remember how alone we truly are., how we entered this world alone, and how we walk its path alone.
This feeling of loneliness is especially hard when trying to become a better Muslim. The journey is not easy, but where does loneliness come from?
Why do we feel lonely when we're doing what we’ve been created to do?
Why do we feel so utterly alone when we're doing what Allah swt has told me to do?
1. You’re building a whole new identity
You’re in a transition phase - becoming a better Muslim often involves growing in all parts of your life. You're embarking on a journey to discover and develop a new identity centred around your Islam; which within itself is a journey of learning and growing.
This process of self-discovery and change can sometimes lead to feelings of loneliness as you navigate the transition from your old self to your new self, you sometimes struggle to relate to either identities.
2. It’s a very personal journey
Becoming a better Muslim is a deeply personal and vulnerable journey. It's a path of self-reflection, self-improvement, and self-awareness. In these personal moments of change, you might feel isolated as you come to terms with your own thoughts, emotions, and relationship with Allah swt.
3. Lack of community
You may have lost friends and even family, As you commit to your improving yourself and strive to become a better Muslim, you may find that some friends or family members don't share this desire for you. This disconnect can lead to a sense of isolation and loneliness.
4. You’re still building that intimate connection with Allah swt, and that takes time
Building a strong, intimate connection with Allah swt is a gradual and ongoing process. Loneliness can creep up on you during this journey as you navigate the ups and downs of your faith.
It's important to remember that the loneliness does not mean Allah swt has abandoned you,
مَا وَدَّعَكَ رَبُّكَ وَمَا قَلَىٰ
Your Lord ˹O Prophet˺ has not abandoned you, nor has He become hateful ˹of you˺.
5. The Shaytan loves the lone Muslim
Loneliness can make you more vulnerable to negative influences, including the whispers of Shaytan . When you're feeling isolated, it's easier for negative thoughts and doubts to creep in.
Being aware of this vulnerability and seeking the support of a community and regular worship can help you guard against the negative impact of isolation on your Islam.
Loneliness is normal - isolation is not, in moments you feel like you’re drowning and feel reach out for support
But how do we Deal with this Loneliness in Becoming a Better Muslim?
1. Keep a journal / talk to yourself outside your mind:
Writing down your thoughts and feelings can be a therapeutic way to cope with loneliness. Pour your heart onto paper, and reflect on your journey as a Muslim.
Use this journal to communicate with yourself, exploring your emotions and seeking solutions.
2. Make Dua often and speak to Allah SWT
Prayer (Dua) is a powerful tool to connect with Allah and helps with loneliness. Pour your heart out to Allah, express your feelings of loneliness, and seek His guidance and comfort.
Remember that Allah is always there to listen and provides solace.
اللَّهُمَّ إِنِّي أَعُوذُ بِكَ مِنَ الْهَمِّ وَالْحَزَنِ وَأَعُوذُ بِكَ مِنَ الْعَجْزِ وَالْكَسَلِ وَأَعُوذُ بِكَ مِنَ الْجُبْنِ وَالْبُخْلِ وَأَعُوذُ بِكَ مِنْ غَلَبَةِ الدَّيْنِ وَقَهْرِ الرِّجَالِ
“Oh Allah, I seek refuge in You from anxiety and grief; from inability and laziness; from stinginess and cowardice; and from the burden of debt and oppression of men.”
3. Join a community! Masjid circles / classes etc
Loneliness often stems from a lack of social interaction and support. Seek out your local masjid or Islamic community centers.
Joining Islamic circles, classes, or support groups that can help you meet like-minded individuals who share your faith and values. It's a great way to build meaningful connections and combat loneliness.
4. Embrace being alone
Understand that it’s a normal emotion: Loneliness is a natural emotion experienced by everyone at some point in life. Instead of resisting it, try to embrace it as a part of your personal journey.
Understand that it's okay to feel alone sometimes, as it can be an opportunity for self-reflection and a building a deeper connection with your Islam.
Do Activities that help fill your time!
Engage in activities that nourish your soul and help you feel connected to your faith. Reading the Quran, listening to Islamic lectures, and reading books, you may feel lonely but even when doing things alone you’re never truly alone Allah swt is always there it’s just the battle of reminding ourselves that when loneliness peaks.
Emotions are there to shine a light on how our lives are going for us. They remind us what we need to focus on and nurture, with each emotion we feel, the first thought should always be:
‘How can I use this emotion to centre Allah swt?’
This piece was written by Zaynab.amf. if you would like to view more of Zaynab's written work, be sure to check out her instagram - @zaynab.amf ☁️
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