Your Little Confidence is Actually Killing your Dreams Faster Than You Think...

Your Little Confidence is Actually Killing your Dreams Faster Than You Think...
Photo by Jack Sharp / Unsplash

If you were to call me up in 2017 and tell me that I’d be doing half the things I’m doing now, including writing a very public blog as a hobby in my spare time, or hosting my own podcast series for the whole world to hear my abnormally high pitched voice — (check out ‘MissHeard on Spotify & ITunes) — or helping companies market their amazing brands:

I would tell you that you have the wrong number.

There’s no way I would even dream of it, let alone be living it.

But here I am, typing to you on one Internet tab and planning my next episode on another all while sitting at my work desk trying to hide my screen.

(P.S: Manager- please don’t let me get fired, I actually like it here.)

But what if I told you that I have the awful ability to talk myself out of any given situation no matter how good it may be for me? A bit self-destructive, right?

So with that, how did I manage to dive into the deep end and find myself here — doing what I love?

I realise my lack of self-belief over the years was slowly killing all my opportunities and if I couldn’t set myself up to do what I deep down really wanted to do, I had no chance of anything.

I once heard this:

“Either you suck at being average or you’re stuck at being average.”

This stayed with me because I never liked being stuck anywhere.

I despise being restricted or confined in any sense so why was I allowing my dreams to reside in my mind and nowhere else?

All I’ve ever wanted was to create a small legacy.

A small one, why? — because the thought of even being able to change one person’s life through public speaking was mind-blowing to me, and still is.

Though how was I going to get there when I don’t feel equipped enough to take this on?

As a psychology fanatic, I thrive off of knowing how we develop into the personalities we now hold. So, I ask you this..

What Were You Like As A Kid?

Your mum says you were always playing up? Nosey? Fussy eater? blah blah..

No, what were you like as a kid, honestly?

We were curious beyond belief, no?

We learnt everything through just being curious. Just picking up random things, staring at objects trying to understand how to make use of it and what the purpose of things were. Anything that caught out eye, we had to get every bit of use out of it until the next exciting thing came along to distract us.

I watch my nephews and nieces now and see how they make play out of almost anything. They have this inner urge, like we all did, to learn about what they’re capable of. No limits. Just Curiosity.

As kids, we did what made us happy without caring what that may look like to others.

Sometimes I wish we all still had that child-like mentality of just doing what what we know would give us a sense of accomplishment without questioning it.

People say:

as you get older, you become more self-aware.

You know yourself better and you know what YOU like and what you don’t like.

I disagree.

I say, as you get older, you become more aware of your surroundings.

You know society better, and you know what SOCIETY accepts and what it doesn’t.

And you allow that to mould what you like and what you don’t.

But what’s still frightening you to take the jump?

I could write a list, so that’s exactly what I’m going to do:

Getting it wrong —

We can’t stand being wrong. No-one wants to feel like they set their heart on something to then just get all discombobulated about it and fall flat. But what if you don’t fall? What if you fly high?

What that person is thinking —

Okay but are they doing it themselves?! Exactly. Just because others don’t have the confidence to step out of their comfort zones, why should you stop yourself? Be bold enough to do what others aren’t brave enough to even comprehend.

I’ll be an outcast if I do this, when I can just choose to blend in instead —

Yeah but if you’re going to choose to blend in, that means you’re choosing to not pursue your dreams which means your choosing to reject doing what makes you happy. So, yes it’s a choice.. so choose what will make you feel accomplished. As a Muslim, I know we’re merely strangers in this world. We stay here for some time, but we know that this isn’t where we belong. Our existence as an entirety is meant to stand out and be different. Use your uniqueness to make a real change and lead a life you’re content with.

I still feel I lack the actual ability to make this work —

I’m sorry, but the chances are it really is your lack of self-belief that is making you think you have no ability to achieve this.

And if you really feel you’re not equipped, if it’s a degree you need in order to get that dream job, or a bit of training to become that all-time entrepreneur, it’s still the confidence you’re gonna need to even make it to that ‘signing up’ part.

The ability is there — it’s trying to come out but the confidence within yourself needs to pave way for it first.

Remember that your dream is already yours — No-one else’s.

You just have to now step out and work to make it your reality too.

Anonymously,

Zara.